


Straight Talk

by D_f_m22



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Mental Health Issues, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-26
Updated: 2018-11-26
Packaged: 2019-08-29 20:55:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16751380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/D_f_m22/pseuds/D_f_m22
Summary: One of the Doctor's students thinks they have a good Halloween costume.Missy disagrees.





	Straight Talk

The sun was setting over St. Luke’s campus, plunging the Doctor’s third floor office into darkness as afternoon turned to evening. It was late October and the campus was brimming with excited anticipation as students swapped caffeine and deadlines for costumes and pumpkins. By the weekend, the costumes and pumpkins would be exchanged again- this time for fireworks and wellies as students played out another scene in their odd, ongoing act of faux-adulthood (other scenes in the playbook included a weekly shop, Sunday roast dinners and a ‘house’ Christmas). Inevitably, nearly all these scenarios would end with some form of cheap alcohol being consumed from an odd assortment of coffee mugs. 

 

Speaking of coffee, that sounded like a good idea. With a sigh, the Doctor placed the lid back on his biro and tapped its tip against the corner of his mouth. As though noticing for the first time just how dark the room had become, the Doctor reached across his desk and switched on the lamp. The room once again flickered to life and caused the Time Lady sat across from him to look up in surprise. With Missy’s behaviour improving over the last few years, the Doctor had agreed that she could leave the Vault for certain holidays. It was partly a way of rewarding her good behaviour and partly a way of testing whether she was really grasping what she was learning in the Vault. It also seemed unfair to leave her to her own devices when students became rowdy with the festivities that certain times of the year brought. As such, on Halloween, Bonfire Night and Christmas, Missy had been given a free pass to (temporarily) leave the Vault. 

 

“What?” Missy questioned suddenly, looking up at the Doctor in confusion as she drew her attention from the first edition copy of The Bell Jar that she had been reading all evening. “What are you doing?” 

 

“Turning the lights on,” the Doctor replied as he shrugged his coat on. “You don’t eat nearly enough carrots to read in the dark like that.” 

 

Missy tilted her head. Her nose crinkled as she tried to understand what he had said and after a few seconds she burst into a smile.

 

“Vitamin A helps the pigment in human eyes to develop the ability to see in low light conditions,” Missy recited scientifically. “It was also a bit of an old wives’ tale that gained credence during the Second World War propaganda campaign. Dig for Victory!” 

 

The Doctor laughed as Missy attempted to emulate Rosie the Riveter with a wink and a power punch. Unlike the frozen poster girl, the Time Lady quickly became animated as she stood up and padded across the sofa barefoot. 

 

“And where are you going?” She hummed as her eyes scanned over the Doctor’s form. “You’ve put your coat on.”

 

“I was going to head out for some hot drinks,” the Doctor explained. “Fancy one?” 

 

“Can I come with you to the coffee shop?” Missy asked, ignoring the Doctor’s initial question. “Is it the little one on the corner of campus?” 

 

“Yes, it is the little one on campus and no you can’t come with me,” the Doctor replied. “I’m sorry Missy, but I don’t trust you enough to take you outside just yet.” 

 

“Fair enough,” Missy said with a shrug. “That’s probably the safer choice, look at you being all sensible- I guess old dogs can learn new tricks.”

 

“Very drole, Missy. Have you been reading an encyclopaedia of human sayings and idioms?” The Doctor teased. 

 

“You know I do keep trying to tell you that I’ve walked this planet several times over, I do know some of its silly little quirks.” 

 

“You didn’t know what a squirrel was,” the Doctor said with a smug smile. “Now, do you want a drink or not? You’re not having coffee…Maybe a hot chocolate?”

 

“One with cream and marshmallows please,” Missy confirmed with a nod. “Do hurry up though, I’ve very nearly finished reading this depressing delight and neither of us want me getting bored and rifling through your office, do we?” 

 

The Doctor’s eyebrows shot up. He didn’t have anything to hide- at least he didn’t think he did- but if anyone was guaranteed to find a massive lurking secret, it was Missy. 

 

“There’s a book on medieval torture techniques in my bottom drawer. If- and only if- you promise not to go scouting through my personal belongings, you can read the first chapter. Do you understand our agreement?” 

 

“Why have you got a book on medieval torture techniques?” Missy asked, eyebrow quirked in amusement. “Have you got a hobby you haven’t told me about?” 

 

The Doctor scowled, the deep lines on his face contorting in a way that Missy found hugely amusing.   
“No, I don’t have a hobby—”

 

“Oh, now don’t be so hard on yourself, you do have a hobby. You collect all those humans.”

 

“I don’t…That’s not what I mean, and you know it. I’m going to the coffee shop, I’ll be back in five minutes, ten at the most. Behave yourself.” 

 

XXXXXXXX

 

Considering the Doctor was a Time Lord, with full understanding of the intricacies of temporal travel, he was a terrible time keeper. Missy counted every second that passed with the accuracy that only a Gallifreyan could. Just as the twenty-minute mark approached, the office door was pushed open and the Doctor walked in followed by what looked like a human infant. 

 

“Missy, this is Edward, he’s my student here at the university and he’s just dropping by to pick up a marked essay before he heads out to his Halloween party. Edward, this is my wife, Missy.”

 

The Doctor spoke quickly before Missy had the chance to say anything incriminating.

 

“Yes, I’m his old ball and chain,” Missy declared as she stood and greeted the newcomer, hand outstretched in an offering. “Delighted to meet you Eddie.”

 

The teenager ran his hand through his jet black hair that hung lank against his cheeks before stretching to meet Missy’s hand. Missy scowled in disgust at the grease-lined hand and went to pull her hand back but- after an elbow to the ribs from the Doctor- shook the human’s hand. 

 

“It’s Edward,” the human corrected. “Not Eddie.” 

 

Missy rolled her eyes, dropping the teenager’s hand and walking away to the Doctor’s desk. 

 

“Oh well in that case, I’m not Missy, I’m the Mis—” 

 

“I’ve got your essay over here, Edward,” the Doctor interjected as he shot a warning glance at Missy. “I don’t want you to be late for that party.” 

 

The Doctor handed a neatly typed out, double spaced essay laden with red marks and a circled 80%. 

 

“Nice!” Edward declared with a soppy grin. “A first! I must be a genius.”

 

“Must you?” Missy snorted derisively as she looked out of the windows and onto the campus. “I read it, I didn’t think it was all—”

 

The Doctor’s eyebrows shot up and he quickly stammered to cover up Missy’s words. Even though the Time Lady’s back was turned, the Doctor could see her cheeks raising in a smug smirk. 

 

“She’s teasing,” he told Edward “Now, tell me, is this party a costume one?” 

 

“Yeah,” Edward said eagerly as he reached into his bag for something. “I’ve got a cool one. Want to see?” 

 

“Sure,” the Doctor nodded. His eyes scanning over to Missy as he noticed her turn around in interest. She always had loved costumes. “Is it scary?” 

 

“Wait until you see,” Edward stated, pulling out a white slab of material and holding it up. The Doctor tilted his head in confusion and tried to decipher what it was. It looked like a straight jacket, but that didn’t make sense- how could that be a costume? “What do you think?” 

 

“What is it?” The Doctor asked in confusion. “That doesn’t look very scary.”

 

Missy would have ordinarily loved the confused tone that the Doctor’s voice took. He was so rarely stumped by anything, especially in this regeneration, that when it happened it was something to be cherished. At that moment, however, her mind couldn’t focus on anything but the swirling wave of anxious thoughts that were swamping her mind. In a moment of uncertainty, Missy let out a low breath and placed her palm on the edge of the desk to steady herself. Her fingers coiled around the edge of the pine wood, the corner digging into her wrist and leaving a red mark along her pale skin. Subconsciously, she took a step back towards the corner of the room. She felt much safer now she had the large desk between herself and the human. 

 

The Doctor still hadn’t noticed Missy’s obvious distress, but Edward had. 

Sometimes, humans could be more observant than their Gallifreyan counterparts. 

 

“It’s a straight jacket,” Edward explained with a shrug. “I’m going as an escapee from the loony bin. It’s great, isn’t it?” 

 

As he spoke, Edward held up the straight jacket for the Doctor to examine more closely. Missy didn’t hear the human explain that it was all in the name of a Halloween costume. Instead, there was a low ringing in her ears and odd flashes of memories raced across her mind in a strange order that didn’t make any linear sense. All of them consisted of the innumerable times that she had been institutionalised over her lifetimes. With her ongoing rehabilitation, the Time Lady was no longer certain of very much in her life. One thing Missy was certain about, though, was that there wasn’t one planet in the known universe that knew how to adequately care for the mentally ill. 

 

In the place of talking therapies and medication, the straight jacket had reigned supreme. 

 

The only prison come hospital that she had been in that had been anywhere close to therapeutic had been the Vault. 

 

Images of her first female body being dragged from a hospital bed seconds after her infant daughter had died came flashing across her mind with a searing intensity. Missy wrapped her arms around herself tightly. She was certain that she could still feel the straight jacket being fastened around her recovering body as she’d writhed in agony and delivered the placenta. 

 

That hadn’t been her first brush with the straight jacket though. That had come at the tender age of eight when she’d- or rather the young boy she’d been- had been unable to stop screaming after the initiation. He’d screamed and shouted and scratched at his entire body, only stopping when Theta called the Academy’s nurse into his dorm and sedated him before wrapping him in the straight jacket. 

 

Several more memories flashed across her mind and Missy felt her hearts stop beating as she tried to block them out. Using the techniques that the Doctor had taught her over the years in the Vault, Missy tried- and failed- at all of them. She couldn’t count to ten (barely making it to five before the memories returned), she couldn’t recite the familiar poetry and nursery rhymes that brought her comfort and she couldn’t bring any happy thoughts to mind. 

 

“No,” Missy whispered when all her techniques had failed. She shook her head and looked down at her feet, taking a big gulp and trying to control her breathing. “I haven’t done anything wrong.” 

“What?” the Doctor asked, taken by surprise as he turned to face Missy. He suddenly noticed how uncharacteristically quiet she had been. “Missy, are you okay?” 

 

Edward had followed the Doctor’s worried gaze, a gormless expression lining his own young features. Stepping forward, the human kept his straight jacket costume held out. With every step Edward took, Missy took a step backwards. She retreated away from the imposing human until her back hit the window sill. 

 

“Woah, are you alright?” Edward asked, hands raised up. His actions did nothing to alleviate Missy’s panic and instead unintentionally startled her even more. “You look all funny. Is it the menopause? My mum has those kinds of odd moments.” 

 

Missy’s eyes flashed open and she glared at Edward with a mixture of anger and madness. She didn’t quite get the reference, but she didn’t need to understand it to be angry. She was on the defence- certain that she was about to be sectioned when she had done nothing wrong. She had been well- better than that- she’d been saner than she’d been in decades and she’d been behaving too. She didn’t need to be sent away and she didn’t need to be restrained. 

 

The Doctor caught sight of Missy’s rising temper and held his hand out calmly in a silent request that she controlled her anger. His own face remained masked as he attempted to control the situation.

 

“Edward, I don’t suspect you have much experience with women, but asking one presenting as a middle-aged human if she’s having a hot flush is never recommended,” the Doctor deadpanned, never once taking his eyes away from Missy. “Can I suggest you take this as your hint to leave? And maybe rethink the costume, it’s not the best idea you’ve ever had.” 

 

Edward went to argue back, mystified by most of what was going on, while instinctively knowing that it was better if he left the strange couple to it. 

 

Anyway, he was already late for pre-drinks.

 

“Alright,” the human said folding up the straight jacket and shoving it into his canvas bag. “I’ll catch you in class on Monday. Adios.” 

 

The Doctor waited until he heard his office door shut behind him and then took another tentative step towards Missy. The Time Lady was still shaking, eyes darting around the room as she seemed unable to focus on anything. He’d realised by now, of course, what had caused her reaction. He’d seen his friend in a mental hospital one too many times and knew only too well what kind of memory an item such as a straight jacket could trigger. For a while, the only noise that could be heard echoing around the Doctor’s office was the sound of Missy’s breath as she tried to calm herself down from a panic attack. She was making a good attempt at it, but the Doctor could see it was futile in the long run. He knew her inside out and he knew that she had passed the point of no return. He only needed to listen to the way her breath was hitching unevenly and observe the tracks of tears rolling down her eyes to know that a panic attack was imminent. All he could do now was guide her through it. 

 

“Humans are silly things sometimes, Missy,” he said calmly. “He wasn’t thinking. He couldn’t possibly know.” 

 

Missy looked up at the Doctor, eyes wide in terror. Her cheeks had turned bright red as she watched him and pulled at her shirt. 

 

“I can’t breathe,” she gasped. “This room. It’s closing in.” 

 

The Doctor sighed as he realised her panic attack was further along than he’d realised. He was usually better at picking up on the signs than that. They could talk about what had caused it later, for now, he wanted to get Missy settled. 

 

“No, it’s not,” the Doctor reassured. His voice was calm and reassuring as he approached Missy and kneeled in front of her. At times like this, their height difference could be more than a long-standing joke and rather served to reinforce the power dynamic. From where he was positioned, he was able to reach out and rest a hand on Missy’s hip. His thumb ran across her jagged hip bone in firm strokes. “You can breathe. Try for me now, Missy, one deep breath in and out.” 

 

Missy shook her head, cheeks puffing out and tears continuing to stream down her face. 

 

“I can’t,” the Time Lady continued to protest. “I really can’t. Please…do…please—” 

 

“What are you asking me to do Missy?” The Doctor asked calmly when he realised his guidance was having very little impact. He continued to stroke his thumb along her hip bone in short and reassuring strokes. “If you take a deep breath, you’ll be able to tell me properly.” 

 

At that, Missy glared at him with a look that was a bit more like the Time Lady. 

 

It was a mixture of disdain and annoyance, but this time there was the added nervousness that clouded her features. In stopping to glare at the Doctor, Missy had managed to at least take a couple of deep breaths. 

 

“Okay, the room isn’t getting smaller,” Missy conceded as she loosened her grip on the desk edge. Her hand, still trembling, moved to the Doctor’s curls and she coiled her fingers around the grey strands. “This is harder now I’m sane.” 

 

The Doctor made a sympathetic noise, standing up and wincing as his knees clicked. Now he was back at his full height, Missy could no longer reach his hair. That wasn’t entirely a bad thing- her grasp was tight, and she had a habit of pulling. 

 

“Come and sit down with me, Missy,” the Doctor guided. He led the Time Lady back to the sitting area of office. As he walked away from the desk, he retrieved the two cups of hot chocolate that he had bought earlier. “We’ve still got a hot chocolate to enjoy.”

 

“Yes,” Missy agreed, more out of instinct than choice. “With the marshmallows?” Then, more suddenly, she added, “Doctor, there was a straight jacket.”

 

“With the marshmallows,” the Doctor echoed. His hand trailed down to Missy’s elbow and he squeezed reassuringly. “I know, I know, I know. Have a sip of your hot chocolate and then we can talk about that.” 

 

XXXXXXXX

 

Half an hour later, Missy was sat cross legged on the footstool and sipping her hot chocolate. Every so often, she glanced up at the Doctor to check that he was still there and that she still had his attention. 

 

“I’m still here,” the Doctor reassured. “I’m going to be here all night.” 

 

Missy snorted, lips curling up in a smirk even though she felt more at ease knowing that he was going to be with her all night. 

 

“We’re going to stay in your office all night?” Missy asked, placing her now empty coffee cup down on the floor. Then, as though the memory of the evening was coming back all at once, she placed both of her hands over her face and let out a deep sigh. “He had a straight jacket. I thought it was for me. I thought…It’s always for me. It’s usually for me.”

 

“It was a costume, Missy. Not a good or a funny one, but a costume nevertheless. I’d never put you in a straight jacket. I promise you.”

 

“You did the first night I was in the Vault. You and Nardole held me down when I was screaming, and you wrapped me in a straight jacket and you left me in it for a week.”

 

The Doctor shook his head. That had never happened, Missy had screamed and the Doctor had sedated her and she’d woken up a week later, accusing him of all sorts of things that hadn’t happened. He’d long suspected that Missy was reliving an experience that he couldn’t see. 

 

“No, I didn’t. That didn’t happen. I have never and would never put you in a straight jacket. Do you want to talk about it anymore?”

 

“No,” Missy shook her head and crossed the floor, positioning herself in the Doctor’s lap. “There’s not much more to say is there?” 

 

“That depends. Talking is good, Missy, if you’d like to talk about how you felt, you can.”

 

Missy hummed, tucking her head under the Doctor’s chin. 

 

“I don’t want to, Doctor” Missy said. “I want to not think or talk about it again.”

 

The Doctor sighed but nodded all the same.

 

“If that’s really what you want.”

 

“It’s what I really, really want,” Missy teased her eyes closing.

 

“You’re not funny,” the Doctor said, pushing her hair back and kissing the top of her head. “Neither was Eddie with that costume.”

 

“It’s Edward, not Eddie,” Missy reminded.

 

“It’s Eddie now,” the Doctor insisted. “No one upsets my friends, especially not my best friend.”


End file.
